The Trenchcoat: The boy responsible for my first kiss, first heartbreak, and quite possibly the worst summer of my teenage years.
The Bad Boy: My first real boyfriend. Yes, I did in fact lose my virginity on Valentine's Day.
The Not-So-Virginal Virgin: Waiting for marriage, my ass.
The Mormon: It was a low point. His mother believed I was going to hell.
The Playboy: My longest relationship that was never even officially a relationship. (Just ask his other 2 girlfriends) Note to self: the odds of meeting your future husband at a Playboy Party at age 20 are against you.
The Co-Worker: We all know it's a reallllllllly bad idea, but you do it anyway.
The TJ's Guy: The biggest asshole of them all. Note to self: Don't go out with a guy that works at your grocery store...especially if he's also your neighbor.
The Cherry Guy: Matching tattoos? Clearly we were made for each other! ...Nope.
The Aussie: Remember that time I almost got married in Vegas? This is the first and only time I experienced being in love with someone who was also in love with me. Only problem, he lived about 14,000 miles away.
The Sandwich Guy: My first attempt at a relationship with someone I met online. At least I got to go to Coachella for free...kinda.
The Busy Builder: He's probably too busy to read this.
Ron Swanson: Blame him for the end of this blog. But it's not his fault he's so great; he's "Ron freaking Swanson!"