***Warning: This post was written under the influence of wine.***
- The girl who just posted a photo of the bouquet of flowers her boyfriend got her "just because."
- The guy who is taking his new girlfriend on vacation next weekend...and posting about it publicly on Facebook.
- The girl who is out on Friday night with five of her hot, single girlfriends meeting a ton of cute guys and not caring what comes of it.
- The adorable hipster couple that sat in front of me at The xx concert, cuddled up in blankets drinking wine together.
- My dog. Asshole sleeps all day and then I come home because it's the responsible thing to do...and he ignores me because my roommate has chicken.
- My ex's girlfriend
that I stalk on instagramwho just posted a photo of them celebrating their two-year anniversary.
- My roommate who is in her late thirties and doesn't seem to give a shit that she's single. She owns a house.
- The guys who can have sex with a girl for months and not feel emotionally attached. Because I just can't do that.
- My friends that made a career out of singing, dancing, and/or acting. I'm a quitter.
- Hot girls. Damn you.
|At least I have this incriminating photo of |
Oliver and the Big Dick Bunny