This is a story of a girl who felt like no one would ever love her, and she might as well give up on the whole "online dating" experiment. The only guys messaging her were ugly, fat, and/or bald. And she just got dumped by yet another guy...one who is on a website ACTIVELY pursuing a girlfriend. She started to feel like maybe she's just not girlfriend material.
She drank a lot of beer to make herself feel better. Her guy friend listened patiently to her complaints, and offered to respond to the messages she received.
Well, why not?The next morning she woke up hating herself for drinking so much beer, but had 15 unread messages in her inbox. Wow! That's awesome....wait. That's weird. [Insert lightbulb for what happened the day before] Oh fuck.
The messages varied in awesomeness, but this was her favorite: