...and not the good kind.
On our third and fourth dates, I started to notice something concerning about Sandwich Guy. He drinks A LOT when we hang out. Typical girl thoughts: Does he have to be drunk to hang out with me? Maybe he's just nervous. Do I want to date a guy that always gets wasted? But I party a lot, too.
On our fourth date, I permitted him to spend the night. This was mostly because I had no idea how he'd get back to Hermosa that drunk. I was definitely not ready to sleep with him, but I figured I could probably give him a bj and he'd be satisfied with that. I'm told this is a typical Jewish girl maneuver. Well, I didn't even have to because he wanted the night to be about me...SCORE. That kind of thing doesn't usually do it for me, but if you insist...
...Can I keep this guy around just for that? Is that horrible?
That thought quickly left the moment he passed out, wrapped around me with his hot, hairy body. He nearly pushed me off my own bed. And then...the snoring started. Oh my fucking god. He's smothering me! How is he not waking himself up?!? Oh I know. I'll just nudge him away. Fuck, he's too heavy. I know. I'll squeeze out from under his arm and...YES I'm free! I'll just go on the other side of the bed. It's so nice and cool over here. Ugh. It's 4am and I still can't sleep. Psssst...Oliver...are you awake?
I took Oliver and quietly tiptoed out of the room. Thankfully we have a guest room. I slept soundly for about three hours before I heard him wake up to pee. Crap. I went back into my room and sat on the bed, and when he came back he wasn't even that surprised to see me. "Where were you?" Oh...um, I'm just a really light sleeper and you were kinda snoring. "Oh. That sucks for you."